Luke Mulholland needs a road-game roommate, he says. Luis Gil was his, and now he's solicited opinions about his next pick — if he gets a say, of course.
Well, we're here with a few options to solve just that very thing.
So now that you've gone on vacation to Mexico @Luisitogil_10 who should take your place as my road game roomie?!— Handsome Luke (@LukeMulholland8) January 5, 2016
1. Another player whose name starts with "Lu"
This is a hard one. Luis Gil and Luis Silva are both gone, and with that, the nominal similarity option is gone — at least when we're worried about the first four letters. But what if we go to other criteria?
2. Another player with a four-letter name
Here we go. There are plenty of options, but maybe we can whittle them down for Luke.
- Kyle Beckerman — You know, by this point in his RSL career, I suspect Kyle Beckerman has his pick of roommates, and it's probably somebody who's been with the team for a long while. He's out.
- Nick Rimando — He has the same issue as Beckerman above. Out.
- Tony Beltran — Beltran's a veteran and probably has his pick, but he seems very welcoming and accepting. Would the right back be content with someone intruding on his reading time, though?
- Lalo Fernandez — He won't be consistently going on enough road trips to really cut it as a "road game roomie," or Lalo might be a great option.
- Jeff Attinella — I suspect Attinella and John Stertzer might be roommates for some reason, and that kind of kills this option.
- Juan Manuel Martinez — Here's an option, but Burrito may also get his own room — or maybe he's paired with a fellow Argentine, with whom he can share similar experiences as he adjusts to the team. Or maybe he's already well-adjusted and it's a non-issue.
- Boyd Okwuonu — Like Fernandez above, he might not go on enough road trips to really make this a feasible option.
- Joao Plata — Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that Joao Plata and Olmes Garcia are joined at the hip.
- John Stertzer — See Attinella, Jeff.
None of those seem like perfect options. Mulholland's demonstrated himself to be fun-loving and a little ridiculous (see "Jamie, Sebastian; pantsing of" in the card catalog) and Luis Gil was young and interested in things like shoes and expensive watches, among other things. So let's regroup a little and see if we can find someone similar for Luke.
3. Someone like Luis Gil
This is hard — nobody's really like Luis Gil on this team, at least not with the club now. Maybe he could be with Abdoulie Mansally, who seems fun-loving (and hard-tackling) and is an excellent person in the public sphere.
4. Luis Gil made of straw
What if none of these are really sufficient? We suspect that Luke Mulholland is crafty enough that he could make a duplicate Luis Gil out of straw. The big advantage (and please don't say "carpool lane") is that he could also take the straw on the airplane without too much trouble. He would probably also talk less.
5. Jamison Olave
Imagine: Luke Mulholland starts to get out of hand — he's young and excitable — and Jamison Olave just stares him into submission. I mean, it's not going to be the most motivating or pleasant experience, but it would be cold, ruthless, and efficient.
Of course, Olave's reportedly very nice, and we've all seen him smile, so maybe it's less of a concern than I'd have thought.
6. Jordan Allen
Think of it this way: Jordan Allen's going to be on a lot of road trips, and he's also a player that has a huge amount of potential. Two boxes checked from Luis Gil's player profile. You should also toss in that Allen is eloquent and not overly concerned with buying expensive things and showing them off on Instagram.
That's not to say that it makes Luis Gil a bad travel buddy, but it just seems like Jordan Allen is a generally agreeable kid with a good head on his shoulders, and that plays out in a lot of ways.
Clearly, I'm not a great source for this. Only Luke Mulholland knows who he would be best rooming with on the road. The answer doesn't come clearly or easily, and frankly, it's kind of a weird question to be asking ourselves. But at the very least we've started to unravel the questions Mulholland needs to ask himself. He needs a good rubric.
Once we see his rubric, we can re-evaluate. The big question: Will we get it?