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RSL vs. Minnesota United: What we learned

This is rock bottom. Hopefully it’s all uphill from here. Please.

MLS: Real Salt Lake at Minnesota United FC Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Mike Petke has his work cut out for him. In what seems to be typical RSL fashion, we’ve made a mess of our match against the worst team in the league. Minnesota carries the worst start in league history on goals against. Remember that US Open Cup loss against worst-in-the-league DC United? Remember 2014, Chivas USA’s final season when they beat us twice?

The bar cannot—hopefully!—go any lower this season. This has to be our low point. I hope there’s no way we can fall any lower than this performance. We’re going to be feeling this one for some time.

Positive Spin

The future of RSL starts now. Petke has a Mt. Nebo sized peak to climb, but he also has the tools needed to make that climb. Can he make RSL the highest point along the Wasatch Front? Can he fit the tools into the right places, use the correct implements in the proper situations, choose the best route to the top?

There will be obstacles and forces arrayed against us. But at this point our biggest obstacle is ourselves. We have our own performances to get past, our own lack of chemistry in the midfield, our expansive list of injured players. The players need to learn each other—learn how to connect a pass!


Everything went wrong once we stepped onto an artificial surface. It kept Schuler out. It broke Maund. Once Maund was broken, our defense broke. The defense was the only thing keeping us alive this year, so it was all downhill from there.

This match was all my fault. I stacked my fantasy team with RSL players and I did not eat buffalo wings. I apologize, all. I vow, here and now, to not play more than one RSL player on my fantasy team at a time. I will also eat more buffalo wings. Tonight it’s going to be a bucket or two of tear-soaked ice cream, but next week it’s buffalo wings for certain!

Kyle Beckerman seemed to be fascinated with the ducks flying over the stadium. He kept repeating duck over and over. Minnesota must have some interesting ducks.