Who will be RSL’s top ranked player in FIFA 18?

Because the internet is the internet, and because video games are forever in people’s minds — especially EA Sports’ FIFA series — it’s as good a time as any to ask this incredibly pressing question.

Who will be Real Salt Lake’s top ranked player when FIFA 18 comes out?

I know, I know. You’re really happy we’re asking the hard questions here and being critical. Don’t shower us with praise quite yet, because, well, we don’t know. (When we do, we’ll tell you, but ... you know. And if the ratings come out in the intervening time between this article being written and this article being published, just put that out of your minds.)

So, the question: Who? I have some thoughts.

Albert Rusnak (FIFA 17: 73)

He’d probably be my choice, if anybody bothered to ask me. Nobody did, though, so I have to make my argument here. Rusnak is young and very talented, which puts him in a good position. He’s shown he’s a good dribbler, he can bang in a shot, he has excellent vision. I’d pick him in a heartbeat.

Joao Plata (FIFA 17: 74)

Fast players are highly valued in FIFA, and Joao Plata can sure be fast. His acceleration is excellent, and that will inevitably play into this. He’s also a good dribbler. Sign him up!

Kyle Beckerman (FIFA 17: 73)

When you’re a national team regular — or at least when you have been in recent memory — two things happen. First, somebody actually bothers to scan your face so you don’t look like a ghostly apparition of yourself. Second, you tend to get rated more highly than your colleagues. Both of those are fine by me, because it means Mr. Beckerman looks like himself. What a relief.

Nick Rimando (FIFA 17: 76)

So, it turns out that really good goalkeepers get good ratings. Who’d have thought? Nick Rimando will get a good rating again, but will it be the highest on the team again? Well?

Javier Morales (FIFA 17: 75)

Uhh

Mike Petke’s sweater

wait, that’s not a player