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The Knee Jerk: RSL vs Minnesota

The worst performance of the year thus far

MLS: Real Salt Lake at Minnesota United FC Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

If you missed it last week, I rebranded What we learned as The Knee Jerk. Just in case there’s any confusion.

If you followed my RSL Soapbox Twitter commentary, you watched my descent into madness. What a failure tonight was. All around just gross. What’d I learn? I’m going to go super specific tonight.

Rossi is good. He plays well. He cannot and should not and must not be allowed to attempt to play more than 45’. He looked hungry in the first half; asleep the second half. I’m cool giving him chances, but it must be managed properly.

If RSL keepers are going to make mistakes, then it should be Ochoa on the field. I think we’d all have patience with a young keeper doing what MacMath did tonight. I don’t think MacMath deserves that patience. He’s not a terrible keeper, but he did have a terrible night.

Please sell Sam Johnson, RSL. If we’re going to pay for a striker, let’s actually pay, and let’s actually get a striker. We don’t even need a golden boot contender. Just someone who can consistently put in 12-16 goals a season. Consistently.

The diamond is dead. All of you diamond lovers need to let it go. It’s time. If you do any research on diamonds, you’ll find that they’re really not worth much. The value has been conflated by a near-monopoly on diamond creation and a massive advertising campaign to make the public think diamonds are valuable. They’re really not. They make them in a lab and those diamonds are chemically identical to natural diamonds. Time to let them go.


RSL matches go really fast when you’re trying to Tweet out everything that’s happening for RSL Soapbox and can’t keep up and then find RSL losing and get really annoyed then the match starts slowing down as you run out of anything positive to say because we’re losing by 3, nope, wait, now it’s 4.

Don’t troll people online. Find a hobby. Make some friends. Knit.

We went from a +3 goal differential to -1. Minnesota went from 0 to +4. Yuck.