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The Knee Jerk: RSL vs FC Dallas

MLS: Real Salt Lake at FC Dallas Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

I had a bunch of jokes lined up about coffin nails. Well, we’ve waved off the grave for now. It was an ugly, grinding win. In Texas. When we really needed three points. Good thing Dallas knows how to go up early and squander their matches. Thank you, FC Dallas.

Meram changed that game. That was a quality, veteran performance from him.

And an ugly game it was. That first half had me thinking about Chicago. Thought I, How can we play that sloppy two games in a row? How can we give up precious points to teams we should beat? Gollum was as disappointed in that first half as I was.

But three points. In Texas! I’m going to be honest, here. It’s kind of fun to be in this win-or-die state. It makes the goals so much tastier. I get to feel excitement. I get to shout and jump around.

Good shouting. Cheering! I was letting off a lot of SpongeBob-style sentence enhancers in frustration for most of that match, but then Albert tumbled in that goal. Nice.

So here we go again. Playing jump rope with the playoff line. It’s going to be a fun last few games.


I watch a decent amount of MLS matches on ESPN+. Fellow ESPN+ers will know what I’m talking about here. It’s my opinion that the Dallas game commentary is the worst in the league. Here are some things they say: if that defender hadn’t been there, the attacker would have scored; Brazilians only go by one name; had that shot gone in, they would be up a goal. It’s a tough one to listen to.

If it wasn’t for his shot on target, I’m not sure I would have even remembered that Wood started this game.

There were questions about the three-in-the-back system. There still are. Who knows? I do. If RSL hired me as head coach, I’d play a 1-4-5 formation (yes, one defender and five forwards!), I’d put Justen Glad as my point striker, and I’d refuse to budge from that system for any reason whatsoever. Which is probably why my applications for head coach keep getting ignored. With our coaching turnover lately, I’ll just get to keep trying.